Family and love...

*Inara is shown sitting in the living quarters aboard Echidna's Daughter sitting on the long couch below the large window. It appears the ship is sitting outside a station, as a portion of the Gallente design is visible on the backdrop of stars. She's sitting there in a long, dark blue, plush robe; her hair still slightly damp and hanging loose by her shoulders.*

*She starts the recording by playing another recording of a man's voice, "I know who you really are underneath, Inara Subaka, and you are very lovable - despite your darker sides and maybe partly becasue of them" Taking a moment of silence she turns away from the window to face the camera drone.* Me lovable? I laughed in his face, or rather, into his chest while he was holding me. I guess I should start from the beginning, instead of jumping to the last chapter.

It started as I was reading in the 'Hook, Reppy had fallen asleep leaning on me and I saw him come in. I was tired of being afraid, trying to guess what he was going to do with the information... the power he held over me. So, I took a leap and had Reppy returned home, while I went to face the only man that had caused me fear in quite a while.

Who'd have thought, with everything he had over me, he offered to take our conversation someplace private... I was expecting the boardroom, but he surprised me by offering his place. Then the fucking gentleman had to be polite and escort me the entire way on his arm...

Then, after getting me a glass of water to drink he had the gall to tell me about protecting Family... Lecturing me on how Family is there for each other, watching each others' backs. Damn it, that's all I know how to do!

*Inara takes a moment to collect herself and continues in more calm tones*

But, he managed to point out, I'm quite good at offering my protection, but have... issues, with accepting any help. *She taps a pad laying on the endtable and a recording of Vince can be heard playing, "More often than not it takes more strength to ask for help than to ignore it."* Hearing him say that was like being called a coward and feeling good about it afterwards. I'm not used to people insulting my strength, my pride. But he did it, without flinching, a smile on his face the entire time.

After settling our issues, knowing he wasn't going to use what he knew to puppet me around, we discussed a variety of things. Trust, friendships, people we know... then, I'm not sure why, I asked him for a favor. Something, I'd never asked anyone. I asked him to hold me, not to cuddle, not to let me hold him; I asked him to hold me.

We discussed Kelsy while I sat there in his lap. It felt oddly... safe, there; it's the only way I can describe it. Then, I'm not sure who brought it up, or how it came about *Inara chuckles* Okay, so that's a lie, I choose not to recall how it came up; but the discussion turned to love.

I know a lot of things, I know that I don't love Vince; I don't love Kelsy, or Reppy, or Elysa, or... I just don't love. It turns out, Vince knew this... and he knew why. Not sure when he started being so observant, but he pinned me down perfectly; the person he was talking to, the me he has had exposure to... she's weak and afraid. So afraid infact, the idea of someone being able to love her scares her *Inara laughs bitterly* And I'm in so much denial that I could be weak or afraid that I refer to that portion of me as another entity.

Sitting there in his embrace, he had me giggling and blushing again... Fucking Gallente bastard, bringing out the weak side of me, making me feel safe, cared for, wanted. I know I'm physically attractive, I go through great efforts to stay that way... but do you know how often I'm told I'm beautiful? Then he goes off and tells me, in not so many words, that if he wasn't in love with Kelsy he'd be falling for me... *Inara nearly growls as she yells* Fuck, what would I do with a Gallente in love with me.

*She pulls her robe tighter around her and whispers* What would I do with love..?